he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
