you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
In America we eat man semen.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
