Christians are straight up FREAKS
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
