Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
