Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
