She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i love accidental penises.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
did you just send me my own nude
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
