just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
