I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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