I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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