The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
