Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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