i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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