my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
