too bad you live with your parents still
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
