Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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