Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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