When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
