as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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