i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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