You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
