420 ftw
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
