I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
