NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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