Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
