I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
