He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
