I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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