I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
