Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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