Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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