Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
