It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
