I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
