i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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