If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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