At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
