so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
