I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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