direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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