I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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