Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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