You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
