Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
