There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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