Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
