I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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