I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
