Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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