I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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