He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
