i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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