ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
