we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
