if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Please, let me fuck your mom
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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