It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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