I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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